If you ever bore of his hardon and want to get rid of whatever hardness is left, just add cold. Ice, water, frozen water bottle and it will shrink up. He will fit better afterwards and it will also calm him down for you.
I enjoyed my marriage so much more when we had this type of relationship. She has since gone 100% vanilla and used my previous kinks against me. Has threatened to put me to her family etc. and not in an erotic way at all.